Creo Page Fortuitus
by Sexidebater
Summary: It's the final countdown until the Weasley Twin's escape, and they need Hermione Granger to help them with one last giant prank! Leave reviews, I might reedit this and replace it a few more times.
Look at what I wrote when I was supposed to be studying for my European Scientists History! Yeaaaaaa!

I'm taking liberty with Latin. I do not speak Latin and I don't know how to conjugate it and I don't care to learn.

Enjoy

* * *

 ** _Creo Page_ _Fortuitus_**

The flying paper cranes, and owls and airplanes circling Hermione's head annoyed her. But when a crane got stuck in her hair, she snapped. Hermione picked up her ink well and chucked it at George Weasley's head.

George ducked and Fred laughed until Hermione beamed him in the head with another ink well. Black ink splattered onto his face and it was George's turn to laugh.

"What do you two want?" Hermione hissed.

Wiping the ink off his face, Fred stood up from his table and stalked over to Hermione's. She was surrounded with books and they covered the table.

"Well Miss Granger, we need your help." Fred hummed, ducking his head down to her ear.

George approached and stood on her other side.

"We need that big brain of yours to help us with a little stunt. You see, we're leaving soon, but we want to go out with a bang! And we're having a bit of trouble with some of our tricks." George said in her other ear.

"Oh, and why should I help you?" Hermione asked.

"Miss Granger, that's a mean tone you're taking. I know you don't like our tricks, but just think about the look on Umbridge's face when she's forced to deal with all the mayhem we cause. You're already in trouble for being associated with Harry. Go big or go home Hermione." Fred mused with a bright smile on his face.

"I don't feel like getting additional lines, these ones just healed." She said holding up her hand.

'I Won't Be A Know It All' was printed on the back of her hand in feminine neat hand writing. It was raised and pink, obviously it had just healed.

"You're going to get lines anyway for something or another. Don't you want a change of pace? 'I Will Not Play Pranks' on the back of your hand is a lot more fun that having that bitch insult your intelligence." George said, smirking holding up his hand.

"'Sides, we'll take the fall. If it all works out, then nobody will ever know that you had anything to do with it and you'll keep your goody-goody two shoes prefect reputation. What do you say 'Mione? We screw up, you get lines, we don't screw up, everything will be amazing and Umbridge will piss herself from fury." Fred said, ducking his face to hers, being nothing but a hairs breath away from her lips.

Hermione's breathing hitched as she watched his lips. She would never admit it but she found the twins attractive. Obviously they both had almost the same looks, but George had a small scar about his right eyebrow. Very hard to see unless you paid attention. They also had slightly different personalities. Fred was usually more sure of himself and always jumped in without thinking. George took a few seconds to analyze the situation before jumping into whatever shenanigans his twin was getting into.

As infuriating and annoying as they were, she had to admit that they were clever. Almost as clever as she was.

"Fine, if it'll get you to leave me alone. What do you need help with?

A know smile crossed their faces as they pulled up chairs and sat next to her. George unrolled a large piece of parchment, revealing a very detailed plan.

"You see Hermione, we're going to leave in a fiery explosion of pure chaos and awesomeness. Fizzwizzes and Flashbangers galore. Our fireworks display is going to put Wonkos AND Seamus's pyrotechnics to shame!" George said, waving his hands in the air and staring longingly into the distance.

"Before you ask, we're leaving next week. But we just can't bear the thought of leaving all of you wonderful students without some lasting laughs. We know what we want, but either haven't found the right charm and we're not good at the other." Fred continued.

"What are you guys trying to charm?" Hermione sighed.

"The suits of armor. We want them to sing incredibly vulgar songs, and we're trying to put them all in the Great Hall so they can sing together. And we were going to use a permanent sticking charm to keep them there. We can make them sing, but they're really heavy and hard to move. You're better at the flying charm than we are."

"That's cause it-"

"LeviOsa not LevioSA," They said together, mockingly.

"We're serious about that though. We were _sick_ during that lesson and we need help." Fred admitted sheepishly.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"AND if we can, we'd like to get the stairs, especially the ones that lead to her classroom, to turn into slides on occasion." George smiled.

"Honestly, have any of the Weasleys ever read Hogwarts: A History-" Hermione started.

"Told you she'd say it Gred." George said holding his hand out expectantly.

"I shouldn't never taken that bet Forge," Fred replied, depositing some knuckles into his brothers outstretched hand.

"We have read your bible Hermione." George said, pocketing the money, "And we know that there is deeply set magic. But in case you haven't noticed, you are the brightest witch of your age. If anyone can figure it out, you can."

"Besides, the castle is alive in a sense. And it doesn't like Umbridge. Haven't you noticed? It locked her out of the Headmaster's office. So some deeply set magic might take a couple days off for a good joke or ten." Fred mused, wagging his eyebrows at her.

"And is that all?" she said, her mind working through the challenge of getting the stairs to cooperate. The twins could see the wheels in her head turning and they smiled knowingly at each other.

"Yep! We know you can figure it out! We need it by next week. Can you meet our deadline?" Fred asked.

"Have I ever missed a deadline?" Hermione said with a smirk.

"No, you have not!" Fred beamed.

"Knew we could count on your 'Mione." George grinned.

They both placed a kiss on her cheek and then skittered off.

Hermione sighed and went to get Harry's invisibility cloak. It was going to be a long night in the restricted section.

* * *

"Didja figure it out?" George chirped sitting in front of Hermione at the breakfast table.

"Didja get my note?" Hermione quipped.

"Ooooh, I think we're wearing off on her George. Gained a sense of humor haven't you Hermione." Fred said sitting on next to George.

"Yes I figured it out. It's actually so incredibly simple, I'm kind of disappointed. It's stupid simple. It's so stupid simple, it's like you guys taking that aging potion. Only this will actually work." Hermione said, closing her book.

"So what's the spell and why hasn't anyone figured it out yet?" Fred asked.

"Because it's so incredibly stupid that no one would think it would work. You're literally going to point and flick your wand while saying _creo page_ , and then you follow it with _fortuitous._ There is literally no protection magic on the stairs!" Hermione huffed.

"Wow that is stupid easy." George mused.

"An entire week in the library for nothing. Hiding under the invisibility cloak, for something that could be found in a muggle library." Hermione muttered.

"Well thank you Hermione. I assume that you tried it already. Which stair case should we be wary of?"

"The one leading to the Slytherin dungeons." Hermione smiled.

"That's my good little witch. Now, would you like to help us move around the suits of armor? We're doing it tonight." George smiled.

"You've done all this work, might as well celebrate a bit," said Fred.

"All right. Just tell me the place and time."

* * *

"Shit, someone's coming," George whispered.

"Well what do we do?" Hermione whispered back, almost panicking.

"Quick, hide it behind the tapestry!"

"George it's a freaking suit of armor. It's bulky and won't fit properly!"

"Then we'll stand in front of it!" George said, maneuvering the armor behind the tapestry.

"Whoever that is will wonder why the hell we're standing here awkwardly!" Hermione hissed.

The footsteps got closer. Whoever it was about to round the corner. Once again, George with they still had the Maurders Map so he could see who he was dealing with.

Hermione looked terrified of getting caught without a decent reason. She wasn't on duty tonight and it was too late for Prefects to be patrolling anyway.

As the footsteps rounded the corner, George grabbed Hermione by the waist and crashed his lips against hers, silently pleading for her to catch on. Thankfully she did and she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss.

A familiar, while not friendly, but preferred cough interrupted them. They separated, and Hermione looked down, her cheeks turning bright pink.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall coughed, "What on god's green earth are you doing in the hallways? And kissing none the less? I expected better from you Miss Granger."

"My apologies Professor, but George just has a certain charm." Hermione forced out, still staring at the floor.

George laughed and landed his arm around Hermione's shoulders, "Glad you think so babydoll."

McGonagall appraised them, "Whatever is behind that tapestry I'll ignore for now. Umbridge is on the 7th floor by the room of requirement. I'll give you ten minutes then you better be back in the common room, or so help me…"

She didn't finish her sentence because she didn't need to. Hermione's cheeks managed to turn a brighter shade of pink and George chuckled to himself.

"Understood professor. You have a lovely rest of your evening. Let me know if you ever want to experience the Weasley charm," George purred, giving her a wink.

McGonagall rolled her eyes and continued on her patrol.

"That was incredibly embarrassing George Weasley! What were you thinking?" Hermione hissed as she helped George maneuver the suit of armor from behind the tapestry. Together they levitated it down the stairs and towards the Great Hall.

"I just saved our asses, that's what. If that had been Umbridge or Filch, they would have just grabbed us and given us detention, too happy to pay attention." He hissed back. "McGonagall is sharp and notices everything. She's looking the other was because of Trewany. As far as we're concerned, she never saw us and we never saw her."

Hermione nodded as they gently placed the suit right by the staircase leading to the great hall. George put the sticking charm on it and looked around the great hall. There were ten suits of armor scattered around the place. He just wished he could be there when it happened. He'd have Ginny write to him about it.

Hermione stood in front of the grand stair case and held out her wand.

" _Creo Page._ " She flicked her wand and the stairs turned into a giant slide, " _fortuitous."_

They changed back to normal, but she knew it would work. A good chunk of the Slytherins in potions had been late because apparently the stairs were randomly turning into slides.

Just. No one could figure out why.

"Now let's go George!" Hermione hissed.

"Your wish is my command, come with me, I know a shortcut." George smiled grabbing her hand and leading her to a different tapestry. Moving it to the side, George tapped it with his wand in a Z pattern and it opened up to reveal a passage way.

"This goes right down the hall from the Gryffindor common room. Do remember it please, it has saved mine and Fred's asses so many times!" George mused as he led Hermione down the passage and up a set of stairs.

"Lumos," he whispered, the tip of his wand lighting up to help Hermione up the unfamiliar stairs. "By the way 'Mione, way to get into character. You're a fairly good kisser. Had practice on Victor I assume?"

Though he couldn't see it, he just assumed that Hermione's face was as red as his hair.

"No you prat. I had a summer boyfriend back home. Boy who stays with his grandmother every summer." Hermione stammered out. "Can we not mention that to anyone? Please."

"But what fun would that be? Do you think it'll make Ikle Ronniekins upset?" George laughed.

"George, please." Hermione said softly.

George stopped and turned around to face her, "It's not Ron is it?"

"No, I just don't want to deal with Slytherin. If you think mudblood is bad, slut is worse in my world. You saw how they were with Victor. Everyone thinks Ron and I are dating, or at least screwing. Hearing about me snogging a different Weasley brother, I think Malfoy would have an aneurism."

Hermione was looking at the floor, one hand wrapped around her other arm. George thought she looked pathetically morose.

"Fine, I won't tell. I'll even keep it from Fred as long as I can, which honestly probably won't be that long. He is my other half, so it will slip out, probably soon. But we won't tell other people." George smiled, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Come on, let's get back to the tower."

Hermione offered a small smile, and George led them up the stairs and out from behind a painting of a bowl of fruit. They were right down from the Fat Lady. Pacing in front of her was Fred.

"There you guys are! How did it go? Fred said, a large smile on his face.

"Excellent! Let's talk inside or McGonagall with have our hides!" George replied. "Mimbulus mimbletonia"

"Finally, your clone has been here for 5 minutes. You are ruining my beauty sleep."

"Don't worry!" George called climbing in.

"We'll be gone soon!" Fred finished.

Hermione rolled her eyes and climbed after them. The door slammed shut behind them.

"Well what happened with you guys?" Fred asked, flopping down in an arm chair.

The common room was empty and Hermione curled up in her favorite chair in front of the fire. Crookshanks jumped into her lap and made himself at home. He watched the twins with wary eyes.

"All the suits are in place and the grand stair cases is charmed!" George smiled.

"Did you get caught?" Fred asked.

Hermione turned a bright shade of red, brighter than their hair. Fred raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, do tell Hermione. You got caught didn't you? Did ya stun them and obliviate them? It didn't happen unless someone sees it!"

"Have you two done that before?" Hermione asked shocked.

"Did you see us do it Miss Granger?" George quipped.

"No."

"Then we didn't do it!" The said together.

"So back to the subject at hand, who caught you?"

"McGonagall. We hid the suit before she came down the hall. She caught us in a compromising position." George said with a wink towards Fred.

"George Fabian Weasley! You shut your mouth! Your promised!" Hermione whispered harshly.

"Ooooooh, this is exciting! Come on Hermione, you know he'll tell me eventually! Might as well do it on your terms." Fred taunted.

"Fine. Go on George." Hermione huffed, petting Crookshanks.

"So there we were, struggling to get the suit of armor down the stairs, when we heard footsteps. Hermione almost panicked but I convinced her that we needed to hide it behind a tapestry. If it was Umbridge she wouldn't notice. As long as we were doing something else…"

"George grabbed me and gave me a good snog. McGonagall caught us and told us to hurry it up and then walked away. There. Now you know. Did my spell work?"

Fred laughed, clutching his sides, "Holy shit. You and George made out. That's beautiful! Oh, Ikle Ronniekins is going to die when he finds out!"

"Fred, we can't tell. I promised Hermione we wouldn't." George said softly.

"Oh, okay. Got it. Are all the suits in position?" Fred asked, dropping the subject.

"Of course they are! McGonagall didn't drag us to detention now did she? She's cheering us on in her own way! She even told us that Umbridge was by the room of requirement."

Hermione looked at them kinda in shock She thought she was going to get teased more by Fred. But with only a few words, he dropped it. Without a thought.

She zoned out for a few minutes, absentmindedly petting Crookshanks.

"Hermione!" George said, waving his hand in front of face, "We're going to bed. Got a big day tomorrow!"

"Huh? Oh sorry, zoned out there for a few. Where's Fred?" She asked, looking around.

"He went up to bed already. He won't tease you to your face, or tell anyone. I promise. We might be tricksters, but we're not absolute prats. Now go to bed, we have a _very_ long day tomorrow."

"Is tomorrow the day?" Hermione asked softly.

Crookshanks got off her lap, sensing the mood.

"Yeah, it's been a great week though. I'm really appreciative of your help. It's been… um helpful." George gave a weak smile.

"Well I best be getting to bed, if you're going to be messing up the school tomorrow, then I have to clean up after you a bit." Hermione said, standing and brushing off the cat fur.

She turned to head towards her dorms, but felt George's arm wrap around her waist.

"Wait. Hold on. I fucked up my words again. I do that when I get nervous. Fred's the best when it comes to pretty birds." He said, pulling Hermione towards him.

"What?"

"Hermione, your help has been invaluable, we wouldn't be here without it. With you researching for us, we managed to set more jokes. We couldn't have been able to turn the stairs into slides without you. Fred said he took a ride down one of them. It's going to be amazing." George smiled.

Hermione returned his smile, always loving praise, "Are you leaving with any regrets?"

He thought about that for a minute, "Eh, a few. Like not dancing with Dumbledore, and not starting what is called a food fight. But it'll be alright. I ticked one off tonight, so it's all good."

"You ticked one off? What one was that?" She asked.

George leaned his forehead against hers, "Why don't you take a guess Miss Granger."

Hermione gulped, "George, I- Really? Me?"

He didn't respond, instead he crashed his lips against hers for the second time that night. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers becoming tangled in his hair.

"Mhm, 'Mione," George groaned against her lips.

"Shut up George."

"HERMIONE! GEORGE!" A shrill voice shrieked. "Ooooh! Wait til I tell Parvati!"

Lavender Brown made to run back upstairs.

"Stupify," George said lazily.

"You know Hermione, we've done this to Snape so many times, that we've lost track. Might have done permanent brain damage. It'd explain a lot. You thought Lockhart was good at this, pfft you haven't seen anything yet babe." George winked at her.

Hermione giggled and five minutes later was carrying Lavender up the stairs, the taste of George's mouth still on her lips.

* * *

Please leave reviews, I like criticism. Good luck on your finals everyone! Don't cry too much! And have fun at prom and graduation all high school students! Do what I now regret not doing. GO NAKED UNDER YOUR ROBES!


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